You see, I've walked the Phoenix Path, and I strongly believe it's not to be walked alone.
In 2012 I ended my marriage.
After a decade of wishing, hoping, and praying our problems would go away, I could no longer deny things were getting worse.
I'd also come to the reluctant, yet firm realization that I could no longer accept things the way they were.
I could no longer sit quietly and be suffocated by the elephants in the room.
Sometimes doing "the right thing" feels like the hardest thing for a while.
My heart was broken by the death of the dream I'd wanted my marriage to be.
My mind raced through constant cycles of doubt, fear, guilt, shame, and denial.
My emotions were all over the spectrum.
One moment, I felt liberated, ecstatic, and on top of the world. The next, I was at the bottom of a pit of self-loathing and soul-crushing shame.
I decided to make the best out of my newfound "freedom" and buried the hurt under as many new and thrilling experiences as I could. I ran from the pain, the guilt, the fear, all of the difficult emotions I was feeling. What started as some pretty epic partying and travel quickly escalated into self-destructive behaviors. This led to more confusion and guilt. My stress levels reached breaking point. I couldn't "party away" the hurt anymore.
I searched for solace in my next relationship, but it followed familiar and heartbreaking patterns. I was so full of disappointment, guilt, and shame I could barely articulate what was happening to myself, let alone try to explain to others. My body was wracked by inflammation and chronic pain. If I didn't address my emotional, spiritual, and physical pain, my body was going to bear the burden.
Life was one health crisis after another, days spent self-medicating, breaking down, or both.
The Phoenix Path I'd chosen was surrounded by flames.
Everything I knew, or thought I knew, was burning around me and within me.
Feeling like a failure to myself and those around me, I finally reached out for support.
I found it. The Phoenix Path transformed my understanding of who I am inside and demanded action outside. It was time to be myself, my true self, and in order to do that, I had to see myself with love and compassion.
The Phoenix Path forward grew clearer and brighter through CONNECTION.
I connected to mentors and peers who understood my experiences.
I connected to the wisdom and power of my own body.
These supportive relationships helped me to not only heal, but to begin to explore what it might look like to thrive.
My body, once the source of so much pain, is now my greatest ally in healing, holding, and vision!
I learned to use my body as a constant feedback loop between head, heart, all the parts beyond and between, and those intuitive hits you can't (or shouldn't) ignore.
I learned the signs my nervous system gives me when I need to slow down, re-center, or just listen.
I also learned how to use my body's sensations, tension, movements, and more to connect to the myriad parts of me that need attention: the gurgling nervousness in my belly when I fear change, the sinking of my chest when my inner child needs comforting, and the rising of my shoulders when my most confident self steps forward. Each sensation holds information.
This deep work with my body led to the unconditional love needed for putting my cracked open heart back together again.
Coming home to myself stronger and more resilient meant I could say "yes" to those intuitive nudges I'd been burying.
It meant connecting to my vision.
It meant hearing and answering the call of my heart, my soul, and my intuition to the changes that needed to happen in my life.
The Phoenix Path showed the way to Rise into who and what I'm here to be.
The way forward has meant BIG changes in recent years:
2 international moves
leaving the stable, but deeply unsatisfying 15+ year career to follow my passion
deep inner work that stripped away layers that felt familiar and comfortable, yet kept me paralyzed.
moving from the desert to the jungle (literally)
taking radical responsibility for my health, finances, emotions, & impact
hearing my body's desires for rest, work, movement, and pleasure and answering them
opening my heart to a relationship that asks me to be completely vulnerable, sit with both pleasure and discomfort, and stretch my heart than I ever thought possible
I'm epically grateful and in awe of my life. I don't regret a second of it.
This kind of growth isn't easy. I couldn't do it without an ever-growing range of practices that literally strengthen my capacity for massive change, full-spectrum emotions, and the mundanity of daily life.
The more I learn, the more I think "If only I'd had this back when I was going through the fire."
Ergo, I followed my passion to connect and guide womxn in the Divorce Portal through the embodiment and mindset processes I've used to heal my wounds and to step boldly forward on the Phoenix Path. This journey, like that of the Phoenix, is one of surrender, hope, and triumph. This transition is not only full of chaos, but also so much magic waiting be discovered.
Let's walk the Phoenix Path together, dear one. It's time to Rise.
Kimberly FiNix is an Alchemical Divorce Coach & Transformational Guide for women. Her mission is to help women navigate the portals of divorce & relationship transition with strength, confidence, and a clear vision for their next stage of life. Kimberly's holistic approach combines modern coaching & mindset work with body-based practices and somatic trauma resolution techniques. Her work bridges the mind and body, resulting in transformation that's both healing and sustainable.
Kimberly's professional training spans the realms of embodiment work, somatic trauma resolution & integration, neuroscience & female sexuality. She brings the benefits of both formal training and the experiences of a long personal journey of healing mind, body, and spirit. Kimberly is a certified VITA Sex, Love, & Relationship Coach holding specializations in Life Transitions and Female Sexuality. She's a long-time mentee of EMPATH*ology founder Lola Pickett, and she's on track to be certified in the ReBloom method of trauma resolution with Rachael Maddox.
Kimberly's offerings are designed to enable women experiencing divorce & relationship transition to use their connection with their own bodies as a source of wisdom, strength, and emotional resilience in times of transition. She provides one-on-one coaching to women who are ready to rise on their unique Phoenix Path. Future offerings will include group courses and retreats.
Kimberly is based in Java, Indonesia with her beloved husband & globe-trotting dog.